The Forever Terms

1. Your Acceptance

This Internet service and its affiliates (collectively “Spencer’s Web Site”) provides service to you subject to the following Terms of Use. These Terms of Use constitute a binding agreement between Spencer’s Web Site and you. These Terms of Use may be altered by us whenever we want, without notice to you. Please read these Terms of Use carefully; as by viewing Spencer’s Web Site, or anything derived in whole or part from Spencer’s Web Site, you signify your assent and agreement to these Terms of Use perpetually and in totality.

2. User Generated Content

Any content you submit, create, or conceive of, including but not limited to comments, images, video, ideas, and thoughts, remains yours; you retain your ownership rights to your User Generated Content. You shall be solely responsible for your User Generated Content and for any consequences of its existence hereafter forever.

However, by creating User Generated Content submitted to, derived from, or in any way associated with Spencer’s Web Site, you acknowledge Spencer’s Web Site unique rights to it and therefore hereby grant Spencer’s Web Site and any third party we may designate a perpetual, exclusive, royalty-free, transferable, multi-universal, right and license to reproduce, distribute, transmit, sell, modify, or exploit, in any form now known or hereinafter developed, forever.

3. Your Privacy

In General. Safeguarding your privacy is not our priority. We want you to understand when, with whom, and how we may share personal information, because the appearance of consent allows us to more efficiently coerce you.

Collection. Spencer’s Web Site may collect personally identifiable information, aggregated usage data, and other information; aggregated from third parties or provided by you; with and mostly without your knowledge; by tracking, monitoring, and observing your actions, wherever, whenever, for a period of up to thirty days or till your death, which ever is longer.

Usage. The data may used in a bunch of ways. For example, to enforce these terms or to form false inferences. In general, you won’t know how we’re using your personal information. We do not share your personal information with others, except when it’s profitable or if we feel like it or sometimes accidentally. We maintain the capacity and privileged right to exploit your personal information for any reason whatsoever, including for shits and giggles, with any third party, at our discretion, without limitation. When it comes to your personal information, we’re total sluts, GGG, wherever, whenever, forever, regardless of you.

We may use cookies.

4.Fees and Payments

To operate our incredibly informative and extraordinary features, Spencer’s Web Site reserves the right to charge fees at any time. All new fees, if any, may be levied retroactively, without limitation of action. It is your responsibility to check Spencer’s Web Site for new fees at intervals of no less than once per week. You must promptly pay all fees. Furthermore, you must do so smiling. Smile, to the fullest extent, smile, without limitation, always smile; ☺☺☺.

5. Warranty Disclaimer

YOU AGREE THAT YOUR USE OF SPENCER’S WEB SITE SHALL BE AT YOUR SOLE RISK. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT, SPENCER’S WEB SITE, AND ANY  SUBSIDIARY, FRIEND, ETC ETC, DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED. I MEAN, DUH. THIS IS A FUCKING WEB SITE. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE IF YOU VISIT MY WEB SITE. I MEAN, SERIOUSLY. SOME OF THIS SH1T IS FUℂKING FICTIONAL. IT’S LIES DESIGNED TO MISLEAD YOU. HEY BUDDY, CAN’T HANDLE THAT?! YOU EXPECT A WARRANTY! NO NO HELL NO WITHOUT LIMITATION TO THE MOST MAXIMUM FUℂKING LIBERAL EXTENT EVER IMAGINABLE FUℂK THE FUℂK OFF.

6. Indemnity; Exclusion of Damages; Limitation of Liability

NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE NOT RESPONSIBLE I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE LIKE SERIOUSLY DON’T BLAME ME DO NOT BLAME ME SERIOUSLY I’M TRACKING YOUR IP ADDRESS I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

7. General Contractual Agreements

a. Fictional Presidential Speeches. By visiting this web site, you agree that the fictional president in the 1998 film Armageddon delivered thrice the speech of the fictional president in Independence Day. You also agree, to the most liberal extent conceivable, that this fact is important.

b. Rendition of Children. By visiting this web site, you agree to render your second-born child to Spencer’s Web Site for a period of no less than five years to assist in the construction of giant straw windmills. At regular intervals, no less than once per five years, you will be informed of the rendered child’s status. SPENCER’S WEB SITE MAKES NO GUARANTEES REGARDING THE RENDERED CHILD’S WELL BEING. THE RENDERED CHILD’S WELL BEING IS THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE CHILD.

8. Additional Terms

a. Severance. If any provision of these Terms is deemed invalid by a court of competent jurisdiction, the invalidity of such provision shall not affect the validity of the remaining provisions of these Terms of Use, which shall remain in full force and effect forever.

b. Limitations on Actions. Any action concerning any dispute you may have with respect to Spencer’s Web Site or these Terms of Use must be commenced within one year by offering nineteen lambs charred covered in the blood of a she-wolf, or the cause of action is barred.

c. No Waiver. A failure to exercise or enforce any right or provision of these Terms, including any failure to act with respect to a breach, will not constitute a waiver of such right or provision to act with respect to subsequent or similar breaches.

d. Jurisdiction; Choice of Law. These Terms and all performances and claims of every nature (including without limitation, contract, tort and strict liability) relating in any way to any aspect of Spencer’s Web Site will be governed by the Laws set forth by His Holiness, God, without regard (obviously) to the laws of any other jurisdiction, local, national, or common logic. You and Spencer’s Web Site agree to submit to His infallible and exclusive jurisdiction, to be rendered by Him at the Final Judgment. You hereby waive any claim or defense that such forum is not convenient or proper.

e. Contact Information. Our address for Legal Notices is:

Spencer’s Web Site, Inc.
c/o The Holy Spirit
Heaven, Maryland
20755, USA